March 2026 Blog

Tuesday, 03/31/26 | Thinking About: Confession before Easter

Went to the Dentist today. I'm all good, no cavities. They did say I have to floss more, my gums are pretty inflamed. It's purely preventative, but I don't want any sort of gum disease.

Only 5 days left until Easter! I'm so excited. I want to barbecue. I also requested off the day after Easter to catch up on some vidya. No word from my work yet as to whether that's been approved or not. Probably not, but it's cool. I didn't break the fast, even through the hardest moments. I'm so happy I could do this tiny, microscopic little thing for Christ. Hopefully I can keep up that momentum.

Speaking of momentum, how about this site? I feel like I've never been so active on here. It's probably because I don't have vidya eating up all my free time. I want to keep a balance going forward, but we'll see. This site has definitely helped keep me sane during those isolated days off, with no vidya. Shrine is still under construction, but that's going pretty well.

Sunday, 03/28/26 | Thinking About: The Future, as always

I've got to stop worrying about the future, and what will happen. To worry is to pray to the Devil. I know this. It's very difficult to stop.

It's such a fine line to draw between oversharing, and being open and honest. For better or for worse, this blog has quickly turned into a digital diary. Not sure what to do about that.

P.S.: I just recognized what a miracle food variety is. God really did not have to provide us with much else but mana bread to sustain our lives, and yet the world is so full of many different things for us to eat. Add that with every way we can possibly serve and prepare them; Even in a closed economy without foreign-grown foods, there is plenty of taste variety within our own ecosystems to last a lifetime. God is good.

Friday, 03/27/26 | Thinking About: Easter

Too tired to work on the site today. I've got 9 days left until I can game again. Did I mention I gave up vidya for Lent? I think I mentioned it. Anyway, it's been very tough. But it's almost over now. I made it this far, I'm not gonna break the fast now. Glory be to God! I actually made it. I actually did one little thing for Christ. Baby steps, I suppose. Start small, and keep the momentum going. I'll be worth Heaven yet. More to come soon. Man, I'm stressed. Good night.

Thursday, 03/26/26 | Thinking About: Dungeon Synth

Progress is slow and steady. I'm working on my first shrine, and learning exactly why I've kept my aesthetic so minimalist thus far. MelonKing I am not. No vibe coding though, I want to learn how to do this for myself. It will be spaghetti code. I've dropped a few hints here and there as to what the shrine will be, if you look hard enough you'll know exactly what I intend to make. But here's a hint anyways:

Tuesday, 03/24/26 | Thinking About: Old TV

Still working on that shrine. I discovered how to place images in specific locations on the page, which helped a lot. I don't think these shrines will be mobile-friendly, though. Sorry!

Also I decided to remove the Mood section from this blog, because most days I just feel "okay". That's not very interesting, but I also don't want to lie and drum up some more explosive emotion. So instead, I put "Thinking About" instead. I'll name one thing I'm thinking about today. Maybe I'll even link something I saw that resonated with me using this Thinking About tag.

Today I took my car to the shop to get a diagnostic. My warranty deductible should cover the costs, but if not then I will have to piss away $200. Sigh. The president of the company I work for is going to visit my workplace tomorrow. Hopefully I make a good impression.

Thursday, 03/19/26 | Mood: Wary

I'm very skeptical about therapy in general. I can't see how the practice is anything more than conditioning. You vent to a stranger who silently judges you and scribbles things about your head on a piece of paper. Like I'm some kind of gearbox with a missing spring or locked-up socket. It's demeaning. I AM A HUMAN BEING! I'm not some collection of amoebae that you can just poke and prod until it behaves. It pisses me off just thinking about it.

Maybe it's just a pride thing, though. Therapy would be an admission of weakness, I suppose. a confession that I can't hack it. I know something is wrong but I can't stand the thought of someone else slicing open my brain and telling me what it is. Especially when money is involved. That always brings out the cockroaches of society who live only to swindle and gaslight.

I'd speak with my priest, I trust him. But I would hate to burden him with my problems. It would be selfish to demand so much time from him, when he has such a large congregation to manage.

Tuesday, 03/17/26 | Mood: Relieved

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Friday, 03/14/26 | Mood: Tired but Hopeful

I WILL LIVE!!! I WILL LIVE!!! I WILL LIVE!!! I WILL LIVE!!!

Wednesday, 03/11/26 | Mood: Exhausted

Phone got fixed today, that was good. Today was awful. I'm too tired to update the site. I might just fall asleep on my keyboard.

I'm really starting to crack up. Any time I'm left alone with my thoughts I start working myself into a shoot over things that happened so long ago. Claustrophobic is the right word for it. I feel walls closing in on me at all times, whenever I'm awake. I find myself gasping for air just to calm myself down during the day. I don't know how much of this I can take.

I heard it has something to do with post-graduation. May can't come soon enough.

Tuesday, 03/10/26 | Mood: Stressed, But Living

My phone is beyond broken now. I have put off going to a repair shop because I've been so busy with work, but now I am starting to see dead pixels. I need to take this one to the shop tomorrow.

I usually take good care of my things. I've had this phone for 2, maybe 3 years? It could be 4 by now. But it's definitely on its last legs now with this screen issue. Hopefully I can get it fixed.

Speaking of broken things, I fixed the gag banner, somewhat. I noticed it was not acting responsively on mobile devices. Now it should be fixed. It still doesn't look that great, but my site isn't really made to run on mobile anyway. I know that's kind of a cop out, but I don't really know how I'm gonna make my Shrine page the way I want to if I need to accomodate every phone screen size. Do any of you use phones to read my page? I wonder if the sort of person that would browse NeoCities on a phone would even care about a site like mine.

Saturday, 03/07/26 | Mood: Disappointed

I haven't watched SmackDown since The Royal Rumble 2025. WWE has been that awful for that long. Cody Rhodes' win at WM40 and the completion of his story was what brought me back, and that storyline gave me hope that this company would be worth watching once more. But then I get the news that Cody just won the World Title on a random Friday Night SmackDown, instead of at WrestleMania. What was the point? No one in this company knows how to book. Cody has been screwed by creative over and over again, and yet everyone wants to blame him now all of a sudden. This is exhausting. I may not even watch WrestleMania this year.

Saturday, 03/07/26 | Mood: Embarrassed

Sorry about that last post. Sometimes the night muse isn't kind to me. It's been happening a lot more often recently. It won't happen again.

Friday, 03/06/26 | Mood: Late Night

I dread waking up every day with the knowledge that I will sin again. I hate that I do these evil things. I hate myself. I hate that I spit in the eye of Christ every minute of every day with my stupidity, laziness, and self-pitying pride. Don't pity me. Don't feel bad for me. I'm such a wreck. Such a screw up. I'm not worth my own name. Nothing I do is good enough, nothing I do can make up for the evil I've brought into the world.

Christ bled for me, suffered mockery, and thorns, and whips, and cuts, and rips, and spit, and piercing nails, He suffered through betrayal and labour that brought Him to His knees... And how do I repay His everlasting love?

I've done nothing to deserve my home, my loving family, these electronic trinkets, my car, my position, my job, my legs, my eyes, my ears, my hands. I've done nothing but squander every gift I've ever been given. True faithfuls halfway across the world are exploding into millions of fleshy bits and here I am, having another pity party on my Neocities blog. What an wicked creature I have become.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Pity? Attention? Just shouting into the void. I'm too lazy and prideful to change anyway. There is nothing of value on this site. I don't know why Christ finds me valuable enough to let live. I have nothing but sin to give. Even this post is just more whining. More complaining. More moaning about what an awful person I am, when I do nothing to change it. I am such vermin.

Thursday, 03/06/26 | Mood: Worked Into A Shoot

War isn't cool guys. God bless the 200 Lebanese that lost their lives this week. God have mercy on the ones who pulled the trigger.

Don't talk about the Teletubbies. Systems are being put in place to monitor and track everyone who talks about the land known as Mordor. They will act on this. Everyone please stay safe and stay in the clear. God will know who His friends are.

Gloria libani data est El. If you don't agree with that, I'll throw you down a well.

Tuesday, 03/03/26 | Mood: Procrastinating...

Today's my only day off this week. Busy busy. Good money though, or rather- better money. Not great. But good enough to keep my bills in order. Thank God for this job. Man I hate this job.

I'll work on the site today.

Monday, 03/02/26 | Mood: Overwhelmed

Work's putting on the pressure, I'm basically doing the job of my superior at a part-timer's wage. It sucks. Oh well, at least I will finally get paid appropirately within a couple of months. Doesn't stop my full-time expenses from demanding their pound of flesh.

I almost broke my Lenten fast from video games. Thankfully, there was a true friend of mine that talked me out of it. Thanks, bro. I won't forget that. I didn't realize how heavily I was leaning into escapism just to get through my day-to-day life, I never considered myself as that much of a "gamer" until now. It's rough. I'm under a lot of pressure from a lot of aspects of my life right now.

It's alright. The worst is behind me. I need to be a man of my word. If I could do this one little, tiny, microscopic thing for Christ, then maybe there's hope for me yet.

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